By Max S. Chartrand Ph.D.

Statistically, serious hearing loss occurs almost 2 to 1 in men over women,
yet more women wear hearing aids than men.

Question:

My husband, brother, father, and two uncles have hearing losses and are stubborn as mules about doing anything about it. Last week I thought I had major victory when I finally got my husband to go in to have his hearing tested. But then he came back, muttered something about having a "little hearing loss" and that was it. In the meantime, me and the kids miss his participation with the family even when we're all sitting in the same room! What is it with men that prevents them from doing anything about something as serious as hearing loss?--- Mrs. J. D.

Answer:

Dear Mrs. J. D.: Believe it or not, you've hit the nail on the head, as to one of the main reasons why, out of more than 30 million Americans with hearing loss, only 4 million have done anything about it. Statistically, serious hearing loss occurs almost 2 to 1 in men over women, yet more women wear hearing aids than men.

This is a most tragic state of affairs, as hearing loss is our #1 untreated physical handicap, albeit an "invisible" one. For the young, it is often mistaken for mental retardation, ADD, learning disabilities, and myriad developmental delays (overwhelmingly for boys). For the elderly, it is mistaken for Alzheimer's, inattentiveness, depression, and anti-social behavior. For everyone between, it costs the U.S. economy an estimated $60 billion each year in lost work, accidents, and reduced productivity.

The key to why your particular attempt failed was because YOU were not with your husband throughout the evaluation process. I tell all wives, daughters, and nieces: "Go with the men in your family for the hearing test." Often men ask me why I want their wives with them for the hearing test, and I jokingly say, "To make an honest man of you."

But, in truth, the psychosocial effects of hearing loss are such that, with few exceptions in males, the worse the loss the more ambivalent and indecisive one is about 1) admitting there is indeed a problem and, 2) accepting the needed solutions.

One thing to keep in mind: The real loss of communication is greatest at the intimate level, where nuances of speech, tones of voice say it all----in such cases, bonds break, relationships suffer, depression and frustration sets in, and quality of life deteriorates. And that's just the mild to moderate losses. Severe losses, left uncorrected, devastate one's ability to function and perform at their potential, and reduce overall health condition.

So, please back up, do a retake on the scene you've painted above. And this time YOU go with your husband, and give him all the support he needs to get past his "John Wayne Complex". Then, he'll learn that a real "he-man" can wear a hearing aid as well as the next guy.

My, what better hearing can do for a fellow!